Monday, April 16, 2012

The Drum's Next Leading Hand

THE NEWS in Melbourne this morning is that Toyota has laid off 350 workers, management’s efforts to get a little more co-operation from its workforce having been foiled by the Gillard government’s indulgence of bolshie antics on the shop floor. PM Julia Prawn’s solution was bailouts and subsidies, which is what you would expect from a leader with the meat in her tail and nothing but crap in her head. First cruel a business, then tap the taxpayer for the money to keep it afloat. In circles where the brothel creeper Craig Thomson continues to be presented as a dedicated, upright and decent representative of the people, such logic finds little difficulty carrying the day.

What to do with 300 unemployed production line workers? Well here is an opportunity that might help one of them: The Drum needs a new editor, and who better to know something of the real world than a worker now wondering where the cash for mortgage, school fees, car costs, energy bills and grocery bills is going to come from. Seriously, how difficult can journalism be? Not too hard if the Drum’s current offerings are any indication. True, there are a few identifiable kernels in the current screenload of effluent, but one gets the impression they owe their place to a little box-ticking on the part of the acting editor. 'We had better have a conservative or two', you can imagine the Drum’s brain trust saying, 'and then we can fill the rest of the site with exposes of rich people’s ruination of soccer, why irrigators are the spawn of Satan and whether the Greens under Old Mother Milne will be able to extend the magnificence of Bob Brown’s many towering achievements.'

There is nothing, in other words, someone with competence in spot welding or auto upholstery installation could not do at less cost and for a more uplifting result.

So, ex-Toyota workers, why not give former editor Jonathan Green’s mentor, Bruce Belsham, a call? His number is (02) 8333 4303 and he is very keen to hear from potential applicants. If you tell him you know nothing of grammar, fact-checking or what might constitute editorial balance, that would be a big plus. The Drum has standards to maintain, after all.

UPDATE: Another, and perhaps more likely, pool of potential Drum masters might be found on Spencer Street. According to this morning's Media Diary in The Australian, the baffled broadsheet's daily sales are now down to 163,000. Fairfax stock, by the way, has sagged to 73 cents, just 5 cents better than its all-time low. The end cannot be far off.

9 comments:

  1. I guess the newly unemployed Toyota workers can please themselves what they do for all the Labor party cares, because after all they weren't members of the proper section of the union & anyhow Julia has just heard of the 400 prospective 'illegal migrants' freshly out of a Pakistani prison. I think she'll be busy for a day or two getting hold of that plane they previously paid by the hour for an extended period to sit at Christmas Island when the brain dead Malaysia Solution was being used to side track the gullible electorate. Her legal profession friends can't wait to dip into a fresh bowl of stupid taxpayer money!

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  2. Am I right? Isn't Toyota in Altona, and isn't Altona part of Julia's electorate of Lalor?
    Has Juliar rushed down as the their MP to help sort out some assistance for these displaced "workers"? Perhaps FWA could help.....there again, perhaps not.

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    1. You are quite right, Mal. Toyota is in Altona, and Gillard holds the seat of Lalor by 22%. Rich, ain't it! She is leading her party to an electoral disaster, but will most likely retain her own seat.

      Interestingly, the last by-election in the area saw a 14% swing against the State ALP, which then controlled Spring Street. Now 22% is a hefty margin, but given the women's lack of popularity and the current polls it is conceivable that she might get a big fright on election night.

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    2. Mal, you are missing something here. Julia only follows ACTU instructions - don't forget what happened to KRUDD when he mistakenly thought he would be allowed the privilege of making his own decisions

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    3. PhillipGeorge(c)2012April 16, 2012 at 1:53 PM

      Mal, these workers are just experiencing some growing pains and structural readjustment as they adapt to the new economy, with green sustainable economy opportunities . Next week they will all be moving forward in their garages inventing new solar panels and wind mills; recycling jobs, composting toilet innovations etc. Not to mention they will open their mail and get their compensation packages. Julia is their gal, a Western Bull-Dog all the way.

      Not only that, they have Julia's word that their economy is the envy of the OECD. Its Julia's steel resolution that counts in the end.

      [When the history of Australia is written Julia will be recorded as having collaborated with Craig Thomson, Rob Oakshott and Tony Windsor - securing the jobs of all four of them - plus government backed super plans and travel cards]

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  3. Re “Rich People Ruining Soccer” the ABC had a typical bleat from Faine and Barrie Cassidy running this morning bemoaning Palmer/Tinkler “corrupting the game” by throwing THEIR money at it. I am guessing there are a few B-Grade hacks no longer good enough for the big European Leagues who are happy to be “corrupted”. I would prefer they got onto Frank Lowy for throwing OUR money at a doomed World Cup bid. Oh, that’s right, Frank is the ‘right’ political colour.

    PS Was just invited to respond to an on-line survey about on-line subscription to the Age.
    If they were looking for affirmation they asked the wrong guy. Unfortunately there were no survey options enquiring about my willingness to cross the street to extinguish a fire using only immediately available resources.
    In typical Age fashion they couldn’t simply ask to select from three or four subscription options (including “not at all”). They had to put forward endless permutations of content restriction vs price ranging from $5/month to $60/month …. I suspect the survey design committee had at least 20 members.


    The Irish Lion

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  4. Two things I find interesting about this:-
    Firstly is that Toyota have been smart enough to select the attrition based upon performance, rather than some sort of “Last On, First Off” policy.
    Secondly, is that this approach is being reported as exceptional … and that is what is sad. We have come to expect that performance has nothing to do with redundancies.

    Standby for a tidal wave of indignation from Howes/Swan et al about mangers having the temerity to actually …. well …… manage.

    The Irish Lion

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    1. I read that Toyota will help the 350 "under-performers" find new jobs.Good luck with that having already stuck that label on them.The ABC is oversubscribed and Fairfax look like they'll soon have trouble managing to pay their drones.I guess that only leaves the Public Service.

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  5. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.April 16, 2012 at 4:50 PM

    Julia Prawn and Old Mother Milne. Classic Bunyip monikering. How we missed you, Prof.

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