Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Emma Alberscreechy

POST-QUEENSLAND panic continues to chill the hearts, and louden the voices, of the Labor/Greens claque at Their ABC. Observe Emma Alberici losing it several times while having her pert bottom handed to her by Barnaby Joyce on last night's Lateline.

Few things gladden the heart so much as a luvvie floundering and thrashing. And best of all, much more entertainment in the months to come.

UPDATE: A shy commenter has raised the possibility that Emma's erotic appeal may extend no lower than the deskline, wondering if her bottom is of a match for that cute little pixie face. The pictorial evidence suggests she is a trim specimen all over.

Please, Mr Abbott, clean out the ABC as soon as possible. The prospect of Ms Alberscreechy doing late-night advertorials, preferably in leggings and sports bra, would be a certain ratings winner.

UPDATE II, A BAFFLED ONE: Several commenters have left stern words about references to Ms Alberscreechy's fine physique. There is nothing more weaselly than the non-apology apology, as in 'sorry if you were offended but", so one of those isn't being issued. And certainly not a full-blown one either. What's wrong with observing that an attractive woman is an attractive woman, especially when there is so very little good to say about her otherwise?

Seriously, this is a mystery. The Professor can generally get through social events without the thwack of a face slap or being jabbed by a hat pin, and it would only be at funerals that at least one or two good-looking women do not hear how nicely they are turned out and what a pleasure it is see them. And it is a pleasure! Women spend an enorous amount of time, effort and money on their appearance, and while much of this investment is to impress other women and themselves, surely there are moments before the vanity mirror or on the exercise bike when the thought registers that, (yes, pout and press lips upon tissue before the second coat), this is the stuff to turn a fellow's head, which is just as well for the species.


Alright, its true, there was a bit of sport about Alberscreechy's hectoring on the nightly box, where her style falls only in the narrow band between advocate and inquisitor. But the comments about her appearance were full of nothing but appreciation. This has always been a gentleman's blog. The f-word has never been dropped in a post and commenters know it is neither for the threads. But the charge of giving offence by appreciating beauty, that seems unfair and ill-deserved.

Commenters who wish to sharpen sensitivies at the Billagong, please weigh in. It will be a novel experience to be slapped.

60 comments:

  1. The poor wee thing only believes what she sees on her I Pad.I wait the day when the ABC protected species jounos have to seek a job in the wider world. Large boxes of tissues please. The ABC Portectorate emailed me this morning to tell me, yet again, they ALWAYS adhere to their charter. Pigs er flying over my house.

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    1. You don't think the commercial networks wouldn't be calling over themselves (as they have done repeatedly in the past) to snap up some of that journalistic talent, not to use it as such but just to maintain an image of being serious news networks. First time I have stumbled upon this moronic, sexist, right-wing blog (tautology, I know) . Won't be back so no need to bother replying. I won't see it.

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  2. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.March 27, 2012 at 1:13 PM

    Barnaby was definitely on a big roll last night. Career aspirational Emma (Barnaby had her number there, which flummoxed her) became a little lost kitten looking for her fluffball, trying to pick up and make dropped points, running about three metres behind him all the time. Delicious.

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    1. The Old and Unimproved DaveMarch 27, 2012 at 2:32 PM

      I think that the mistake too many of the ABC's aspirational journos make is to fall in love with their own cleverness in attempting to manipulate their perceived ideological enemies. After all, the most dangerous tactical surprise of all is when you suddenly discover that your opponent has seen through your own deception and turned the tables on you.

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  3. How do you know Emma's bum is "pert"? She never comes out from her desk.

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    1. Good point and sage counsel. Emma may suffer from Tingle-ism, a condition brought to the Professor's attention some years ago, when the AFR's apologist for all things Labor was recalling on Radio National how she had taken Phatty Adams on a guided tour of Parliament House. A correspondent noted that this would be a physical impossibility, as the handsome couple would not have been able to walk two abreast down any but the widest corridors.

      Still, Alberscreechy remains a favourite at the Billabong, where the hope is that the imminent gutting of the ABC's luvvie enclave opens fresh opportunities. There are now many late-night advertorial programmes on Fox, and it is very easy to see her spruiking weight-loss miracles and 36-easy-payment exercise equipment to the terminally tubby. Those years of ABC training will hold her in good stead for selling a wide variety of other faulty poducts. She may even get to take an on-air call from Laura....

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    2. "The pictorial evidence suggests she is a trim specimen all over."
      Obviously Bunyip's view of journalistic competence is shaped largely by said journo's physical appearance and gender.
      And FCOL what is a "luvvie"? I've been around a bloody long time, but have never seen this term used anywhere but in the right wing blogosphere. It reminds me of the patois used by diggers in Vietnam, and a sure sign of chronic disconnection and alienation. We may have had an excuse. You don’t.

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    3. Numbers, you'll find "luvvie" was coined by Britain's Private Eye for gushing theatrical types. As journalists in our country tend to be no more than heads reciting scripted lines, its definition has been expanded. Our languafge's ability to adapt, adopt and evolve is a wonderful thing. And seriously, what better word describes Grandpa Smarmy of Media Watch?

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    4. "It reminds me of the patois used by diggers in Vietnam..."

      FCOL, why are you banging on about Vietnam again? Surely you've done something worthwhile in your life since then that you can reference.

      This post is about the ABC and luvvies in general. The Vietnam war finished decades ago. Get over it.

      jupes

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    5. "Britain's Private Eye"
      So it's Pommy patois. What's it doing in an Aussie blog?
      And when did "language" adapt to "languafge"?
      Is that what happens when you simultaneously quaf(f) and write?
      As a refined product of a Catholic boarding institution I'll ignore the other scurrilous reference.

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    6. Its all about you Bob.

      Get some help. Your Ex Services rep can get you a a pension for that rather nasty dose of ADHD you have.

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  4. Watched it ...... Fish - In - A - Barrel

    The Irish Lion

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  5. The Old and Unimproved DaveMarch 27, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    Labor and the Greens - Clique and Claque, Front and Back.

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    1. All is not lost for Emma. She should marshal her talents and head on down to the Queen Victoria Markets and where produce prices are shouted out loud and proud. Am sure she'd be an asset to any number of fish or fruit & veg vendors there.

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  6. Oh, I love Barnaby with a granma's love!

    He's tops and on top of all the tricks the Canberra incompetents of no consequence come up with

    I also love to read at
    www.barnabyisright.com.au as well as this site and Catallaxy Files,after my daily Bolta!!!.

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  7. I use to think she was that other luvvie Trioli, and I thought that Trioli luvvie wasn't so bad - not as one sided as some commentators say. Perhaps I'm wrong about that too, but she is quite easy on the eyes. It's funny how even at the ABC the more aesthetically pleasing ladies usually fill the on camera roles. The red headed finance girl had quite a following over at hotcopper where the stock rampers hang out.

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  8. A "luvvie" is a member of the chattering inner city green voting classes who pretend that their views are of importance to others when they are not.

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  9. The one issue that is being downplayed is the gender vote. It is somewhat unrealistic as gender voting has been around for a number of years.

    Emily's list, the leading feminist organisation, has as its motto - "When women support women, women win". Clearly this represent women who think that women would represent them best in parliament.

    Clearly there are a number of men who are of a similar opinion, except its "When men support men, men win".

    The difference is that the feminists are very well organised and funded, they have encouraged gender voting for a number of years, but it now an old message which has reached its maximum market penetration.

    The male equivalent is not organised nor funded, it is a social movement and its message has not yet reached its peak.

    This male vote has grown whilst the feminist vote has remained static. The evidence of this is unseating feminist leaders in NSW and Queensland.

    Open discussion of the gender vote would be far more helpfull than denying its existence.

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    1. Absolutely correct. It is that same hate movement that takes every effort to ensure that whenever an incompetent female is tossed out of office, it's a gender issue, which is just ridiculous as well as sexist. The gender card is continually raised by women who have not had the ability or dignity to admit defeat and gracefully admit that. It is past being pathetic..

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  10. Love your blog. Don't like the fixation on her looks. There is plenty to criticise without ad hominem.

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    1. PhillipGeorge(c)2012March 27, 2012 at 10:31 PM

      when women become oblivious to their looks men can stop commenting.
      walking on water is just a bit easier to imagine, and has some historical precedent.

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    2. Yes, the world would be so much better if all women were ugly. *eye roll*

      A man shouldn't be held accountable for his boorish behaviour if a woman is pretty. We are slaves to our impulses and women should know that we are classless beasts.

      I find your standards lacking.

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  11. Is Alberici sleeping with a socalist politician? Or is she one of the rare ones who just sleeps with another journalist?

    It's so endemic to see journalists who are joined at the hip to socialist pollies it becomes second nature to assume it of all of them.

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  12. "Clearly this represent(s) women who think that women would represent them best in parliament."

    Hmmm... Let's look at the form guide: Lawrence, Kirner, Keneally, Bligh, Giddings, Gillard.

    Not working out as well as they hoped is it?

    jupes

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    1. Once being a member of Emily's list put feminists on the road to success. Now it's the road to oblivion.

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  13. "The pictorial evidence suggests she is a trim specimen all over."

    This kind of comment is beneath your normal post standards Professor.

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    1. Quite so. She's obviously an anorexic x-ray try-hard almost at use-by date.

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    2. Harden up, Dale. Your feigned outrage is merely a tactic to stifle criticism.

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  14. Sooner or later, this blog is going to end up on a seriously important medium. When that happens, its detractors will look back on comments about Alberscreechi's bottom as something to condemn the whole of what is a truly excellent commentary.
    Knock it off, Bunyip, and stick to doing what you do so very well.

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  15. I can count ribs even at that low resolution. Ms Alberici needs to lay off the lentil-and-tofu diet the Gr├╝nreich force-feeds its peons and find herself a decent hamburger joint. /jk

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  16. All the world's a critic.

    It amused me, Bunyip.

    And you should have some numberwang for Numbers.

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  17. More of interest....well, to me anyway.
    Leigh Sales might be somewhat regretting the timing of her grand event.
    In the newly revamped ABC program she was the main anchor...and impressively so, though I have always hated her political allegiances.
    Chris Uhlmann was definitely the second fiddle prior to her confinement but is rapidly becoming a respected and interesting personality on the 7:30 report and now emerges the energised Emma Alber-I-wanna-reach-her on Lateline.
    Congrats to the new Mum Sales...and that is very genuine and very non-partisan.
    But Hubby might be somewhat (gulp) restricted /restrained in some areas that he might reasonably take up some of the Bunyips alternatives ...and mine...to modern day stress....fishing and golf.

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  18. James In FootscrayMarch 28, 2012 at 6:55 AM

    'Trim specimen' etc - all a bit tacky!

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    1. So how about the ABC always running redundant footage of a larger than life Gina Rheinhart whenever they do yet another unnecessary spot out of sheer fright that someone of her political bent might get some controlling interest in a holy cow called Farifax? That's not just tacky, it's being a player on our tax dollar, and abusing several ethical standards.

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  19. Bewitched, Bedazzled & BeguiledMarch 28, 2012 at 10:23 AM

    "Women spend an enorous amount of time, effort and money on their appearance, and while much of this investment is to impress other women"

    Test it this way: suppose a woman gets it all sensationally, spectacularly, seductively spot-on - hair, clothes, shoes, makeup, perfume, walk, gesture, conversation, glance, smile - in such a subtle way that the poor males in the room don't know why, but feel compelled to be in her magnificent presence. Will the other women in the room rush to congratulate her? I think not.

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  20. Dear Baffled One:

    I wrote the previous comment about the ad hominem nature of your post.

    I look at it this way: If I disagreed with one of my daughters would I reduce the argument to, "You've got a cute backside, dear, so at least that's something"? I would not. Additionally, if I heard someone refer to one of my daughters in such a fashion would I take offense? You bet.

    If Alberschreechy traded on her looks as a unique qualification for her position, as opposed to whatever journalistic talents she professes to own, then your comments would be evidently appropriate. She does not trade on her looks, however, so it makes your comments petty and inappropriate.

    And the saddest part of it all, the unforced error distracts from the obviousness of your commentary regarding her competence (or lack thereof).

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    1. Supposing your daughter was an airhead, of whom nothing positive could be said? That is certainly the case with Alberscreechy, as her question about Abbott opposing the Nanny State while pushing tax breaks nannies makes clear as day.

      You see, she has no "journalistic talents", even by the ABC's standards.

      Wopuld be acceptable to make the point this way: As a journalist she makes a fine aerobics instructor?

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    2. "As a journalist she makes a fine aerobics instructor?" Now that made me smile. That quip is down right Churchillian.

      And if it were my daughter (I've logged in via Google) you were referring to in that way, I would be angry, but not offended.

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    3. "As a journalist she makes a fine aerobics instructor?"

      Best laugh of the day Prof, and a good summation. Her arse looked even better when Barnaby handed it back to her on a platter.

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  21. I'm a big fan of your blog, but you are very close to jumping the shark with this one.

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    1. You are more likely a ring-in doing a pile-on.

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    2. Grow some balls. The feminisation of the Australian male is one of the sadder aspects of the left's dominance of the media.

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  22. Ugh can the PC crowd please bugger off?

    Go read what lefty bloggers have to say about conservative women, calm the hell down and then come back and apologize to the bunyip for your oversensitive stupidity.

    Does anyone seriously believe the lady in question would have her talking head job if she were ugly?

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    1. The argument is:

      * The others do it, so I'm not guilty mom
      * Those who object are oversensitive and stupid

      Very convincing.

      Everybody makes a mistake from time to time, even Bunyip. He's free to heed my commentary or not. But an apology for advocating a undeniably reasonable standard of decency? And particularly when the simultaneous argument is made that no apology is warranted for Alberschreechy? I think not.

      And lastly, there are prettier women in Australia that do not have Alberschreechy's job so your argument is disproved. There is some merit, vaporous and undetectable though it is, which has put her in that position.

      Play the ball not the man, as they say in footy.

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    2. Please tell me our point of reference for these things isn't lefty bloggers!
      One of the many reasons I lean to the right is that I believe the discourse of the right is much more honest, rational and respectful than that of those on the left.
      It's no biggie. I was just left wondering what was the point of the post - especially given the high quality of most of the post here.

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    3. Exactly James. In addition, too many men pander to the nutty left wing views of attractive women. Have some standards and ridicule them. Go out with the conservative women!

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  23. Alberici was once touted as a business editor, or some such, yet she appeared to be clueless about farm land acquisition policies of our major trading partners. Barnaby educated her, not that she seemed to appreciate it. As for looks, everybody's got them : good, bad or indifferent.
    Similarly everybody has manners and ways of showing respect : good, bad or indifferent.
    Alberici demonstrated poor manners and the inability to actually listen to an answer without interjection. This is straight from the Tony Jones school of arrogant gotcha-ism. I'm all for scrutiny and keeping interviewees on topic, but Alberici was interjecting for no particular reason, other than to make Barnaby seem to be not answering. My admiration for Barnaby increased, as I'm sure I would have told her she should be prepared to listen and process the answer before asking the next question, or challenging something said before the answer is completed. She looked like a petulant child. I suppose the leading lights of the clueless left would say that such criticism is ad-hominem.

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  24. Oh for goodness' sake. She's out there in public, presentation is a part of her job.

    If she's looking good, what's wrong with saying so? I've yet to see the Professor talking about any women the way the Leftards do - the Rolling Stone 'hate rape' article, for example? Let alone the crap that Sarah Palin has to suffer every day.

    Then, closer to home, is the implied slur upon Tony Abbott's wife and daughters with the eternal bleating about his 'woman problem'. Pray, enlighten me as to what that actually is.

    I'm a woman, and while I have a problem with Tony it's got nothing to do with 'women's concerns' but rather that he's not speaking firmly enough and should can the carbon tax/green idiocy for once and for all.

    Oh, and secure the borders, slash welfare benefits and reduce access to them.

    For starters.

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  25. Crazy lefties can say what they like apparently, but not you my good Professor! To hell with them, let them whine their guts out on just about every taxpayer funded ALPBC site to their hearts content!

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  26. Australian Bimbos Corporation, anyone? I do wish people would lighten up. This is the Professor's damned blog and I believe he may say what he likes. Those of you so offended have a choice. That's how simple it is.

    JMH

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  27. And I thought ALL Soshalist wimmen were PLUG UGLY ! Think about it.

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  28. Emma gives me a reason to watch Aunty

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  29. Alberscreechy has a lovely physique, including a trim bottom. So what? What's the big deal about telling it like it is?

    The little offended dahrlings need to dial back the outrageous outrage to eleventy.

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  30. The interview was all well and good until toward the end where Barnaby spoke of the importance of children and the necessity of birthing enough to maintain a healthy population age profile. This, in a nation that aborts between 75 and 100 THOUSAND every year. And despite the UN Declaration of Human Rights (1947) which specifically mentions protection of the unborn. This loss of over a million of the most vulnerable and deserving Australians since the start of this century is a social tragedy.

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  31. James In FootscrayMarch 30, 2012 at 6:42 AM

    Hey James, nothing PC about it, it's just icky to read a grown man's pervy fantasies.

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  32. When debate has degnerated in to rout, in that one party has utterly been shown to be a fool. Then comes mockery. From there on there are no rules. To then try to dignify "Show us your tits" Hullaballochi's stance as one that deserves debating rules degrades the conventions of societal not putting up with waffle and bulldust.

    On a mine site the level of debate will never follow these kindergarten rules.

    So is there some rarified sensibility that requires us to use an upper register in the language the we decide how to work our vote?

    How about if we dont give a flying foxtrot about these precious niceties that drivel on about Greer's take on budgie smugglers.

    Prof, Mockery is indicated here and you were gentle in it's application.

    People like me have already been tagged as "of no consequence" ..

    I was so angry when I hit the keys.

    Joyce pisses the luvvies because he is articulate and lives in the real world .

    Summary : Go with your guts on the mockery you dish.

    It is far nastier where inconcquential blokes draw up a barstool.

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  33. Winding back the self-censorship of political correctness will be a challenging job. We will need lots of practice to overcome it. The good professor is leading by example by examining the issue of Ms Alberici's fine bottom.

    Try saying : "I believe women make worse politicians" or "Ms Gillard has a big bottom" or "I believe women should stay at home to care for small children" or "Women and men are not equal". It doesn't matter if you believe it, can defend it or if you give a damn. Practice tunnelling through that PC censor in your brain every day until you can freely say what you believe to be true.

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  34. Another picture of Emma's fine trim physique http://josiesjuice.blogspot.com.au/2012/07/wish-magazine-australias-best-dressed.html. She's a hot little number.

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