Friday, February 3, 2012

Saint Peter Of The Cross

THE BILLABONG’s visitors are mostly a decent, fair-minded lot, but just lately the moral tone of comments at this blog has taken a turn for the worse.  Ironic, really, as the catalyst for those gushes of suspicion and aspersion is a man of the cloth, the Honorable Peter Slipper, Speaker of the House of Representatives.

Now it is true that, as sects go, the Reverend Slipper’s denomination is one of the more obscure, and also that his bishop was convicted of rifling his own poor box, but let not those minor details elevate anyone’s suspicion that Slipper does not put his own faith into practice. The evidence is there, laid out and tabulated by Department of Finance investigators, whose accounting of Rev Slipper’s taxi trips has set some of this blog's commenters to noting the many pleasure palaces and carnal consultancies available to the traveller in the Kings Cross/Taylor Square area.

Please, let us lift our minds from the gutter.  Those cab rides detailed in the post below, one needs but a pinch of charity to see each and every stop as a testament to the Rev Slipper’s determination to back his faith with action.

What was he doing late at night on the grounds of the University of NSW? Taking his lead from St Francis and preaching to the possums, of course. Unlike his own electorate’s arboreal marsupials, righteous and upright creatures every one, your Sydney possum is given to vice and fauna-cation, so Rev Slipper must have felt no less than compelled to stop off in the Harbour City on his way to Canberra and see to their salvation. Here is just one of the many he baptised that night.


After that, it was off to Kings Cross, where many lost souls yearn for succour. Again, the Rev Slipper placed a faith tumescent to the fore and shared his love with those most in need.


Finally, exhausted from his outreach efforts, the Rev Slipper had just time to preach a final sermon in Taylor Square, where he won many converts amongst the sons of Sodom.


When our new Speaker introduces the prayer at the start of Tuesday’s parliamentary session, the first of the year, let none doubt that he is fit to utter it. 

Here endeth the lesson.

24 comments:

  1. Any links to the provenance of your last photo?

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    1. Kruddler: just roll your mouse over the picture and the original link will be displayed in bottom left of your browser.

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  2. krudder: originally published in Britain's Telegraph.

    http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01409/nuns_1409905i.jpg

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  3. Kruddler: If you want to know where else on the web a photo has appeared, try tineye.com

    In this case:
    http://www.tineye.com/search/d8572327dc4df882eded14004e283781124fe1cb

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  4. Elizabeth (Lizzie) B.February 3, 2012 at 11:07 AM

    A truly holy man, Professor. Or is that just a hole in his slipper? Maybe it's the black hole into which all those taxi fares have disappeared.

    There's a hole in your slipper, St. Peter, St. Peter?

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  5. As I consider my taxes as charitable donations, I can only say how pleasing it is to see Slipper's exertions in distributing said charity.

    In addition to his charitable works, Slipper has also mastered the art of bi-location. I've always wanted that skill, and it is to be hoped that Slipper will share his knowledge with us.

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  6. Should it ever come to pass that Fr Slipper has been selflessly providing solace to young women who've found themselves in morally reduced circumstances, one hopes the light of such noble philanthropy is not hidden under a bushel.

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  7. Sorry to busy laughing to make a comment.......

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  8. The question of the the provenance of your last photo has been answered, but what is your point Prof? Is to insinuate that the these men are sondomites? (Yes, I know ,,, the misspelling is a legal/literary allusion.) If so, then you are again at risk of attracting attention from defamation lawyers on the look out clients. (Sydney-siders might recall a similar case involving the ABC - as defendant - some years ago.)

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  9. Who runs Political Parties when a hedonistic WANKER like this clown can be nominated to represent an electorate? Did they all get their Batchelors of Arts or other Mickey Mouse degrees from the same toilet paper dispenser at Uni ?

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  10. Bolta reported comcars being used twice to visit St Kilda. Sigh, there are a lot of souls that need saving it seems.

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  11. "Fauna-cation".

    Word of the year, so far!

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  12. The taxi-charge list to and from King's Cross addresses makes me wonder how you went past "Peter's Progress" for a blog-post heading...

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  13. King's Cross does have an ecclesiastical ring to it, as does Saint Kilda. Perhaps he was led astray by erroneous grammar?

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  14. thefrollickingmoleFebruary 3, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    Song for the Sainted slipper..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulPgWVC08KI&feature=related

    What? me infer anything by musical selection, never!

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  15. Taylor Square is of course home to many late night clubs where a fellow can meet other like minded fellows for a certain kind of fellowship not necessarily condoned in the biblical texts. Perhaps the ability of the Rev Slipper to change teams at short notice is not confined to a parliametary setting?

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  16. Slipper does, it has to be said, bear the unfortunate unlovable countenance of a man reduced to "paying for it".

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  17. Slippery Pete has a public Facebook page where he is quite active explaining his travel claims and asking people if they watch the Bolt Report?

    http://www.facebook.com/PeterSlipperMP

    His "friends" tell him not to get his head stuck up a turkey's arse. Apparently he says many people confuse him with Rowan Atkinson's TV comic character Mr Bean.

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  18. I see Sydney taxi drivers get as lost as Perth ones. Poor Fr. Slipper must have been furious at this flagrant price gouging.

    This is the sort of thing that is ruining our tourist industry.

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  19. I think you would need to be slippery to follow a tom-tom to a whole craigy yabby.

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  20. Slipper's locale explanations on his cab dockets make interesting reading.
    What "office" does the Sunshine Coast member hold in Sydney?
    Reminscent of his taxpayer funded jaunt to Morocco on "electorate business."

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  21. Sects or sex, what's the difference?

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